Poetry and personal blog – Spilling my guts to strangers

I know I’m taking a chance here, but it has come to the point where I have to set the record straight, although I know full well that even after this I may still be utterly incomprehensible and misunderstood. I want to thank you in advance if you had been following this blog or following me on Twitter. If after you read this you want to unfollow me, don’t do it right away. Coordinate it amongst yourselves and do it discretely. Stagger it, because I have serious abandonment issues.

It has come to my attention that some of you out there think I’m inspirational, or something along those lines; I’ll use that term as a catch-all. I’m actually on someone’s  “Spirit’s Holy” and “Soul of the Universe” Twitter lists. That is very flattering and maybe someone finds the journey I’m on as inspiring, but I don’t think I am an inspiring person by nature or deeds.

Ok, one thing I have going for me is that I try to be nice to people–but if you try to fuck with me, then it’s a different ball game. I encourage others to behave the same way.

That’s all I can think of. Other than that, there’s plenty of evidence to the contrary:

I don’t really care if you believe what I believe In my last post, I said I wanted people to hear, understand, and accept what I have to say, but we can agree to disagree. Just looking for R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

I have a sense of humor I honestly do admire people who are inspirational, but they don’t make me giggle, which is my favorite activity. Speaking of honesty, I am honest to a fault (stay with me, here). People have been known to rely on my honesty, and indeed, to exploit it. But I will temper my honesty with diplomacy. And I will exaggerate and lie my ass off if it’s funny! Inspiration be damned, okay!

Nothing I write will be completely joyful I noticed early on as a teenager that all my poems were sad, dark, angry, cynical, and every other so-called negative emotion. Same thing now. Even when I try to write something happy or even neutral, I always manage to put some “stank” on it. I have added “militant” to my repertoire, and by militant, I mean defensive in a “back off, don’t fuck with me” kind of way (see above). If true happiness were possible, there would be no need for heaven, so I don’t believe in it (true happiness, that is). I certainly don’t have it, and I don’t think I want it; there would be nothing to write about.

I could go on, but I’m coming up on my self- imposed 500-word limit, which actually is another point against me: I am one of my favorite subjects to talk about. That’s not a good look for an inspirational figure.

© Sweepy Jean and Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World, 2010.

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Comments on: "I am not “The One” (in case you were wondering)" (12)

  1. Ha ha ha ha ha…. to some people… the act of being real in a world of pretense is very inspirational… Keep comin’ with it.. I’ll keep listening!!

  2. Can you hear my applause from there (or is it here)? Well said.

  3. It is because of all those things, I admire you and you inspire me. I remember your Warts and all post…Well that ties with this I think. The path you have made your own, the warts and all like this or lump it way…that inspires me to put out there, “Hey I’m not buttering your bread, I’m telling you like it or not.” Don’t like it, don’t look. Oddly though, that draws others to us of the same ilk, one inspiring the other so we become anti-hero’s for the unwashd masses of conformists, and heros to each other coming out of the coccoon of self edit.

    \m/>.<\m/ Rock it!

    • Wow, amen! If what I do inspires others to open up, then I guess that’s ok with me. Thank you for saying so. “Anti-heros for the unwashed masses of conformists, and heros to each other coming out of the cocoon of self edit.” I love that! Now THAT has to be on my foreward! Love you, Lady, thanks.

  4. Bravo Sweepyjean! Show me someone who knows the secret to happiness and I’ll advise you to hide your wallet. That being said, what’s “inspirational” is the journey to figure things out on your own terms even if it requires difficult questions (and answers.) Whatever the conclusions you come to, the trying is the meaningful part and that’s what sticks with me.

  5. Words are powerful tools, but more often than not we use them unconsciously and we do not give them another thought once they have left our mouths/pens. If your words have touched/inspired another then that is inspiring in itself. We all have the power to be inspirational, just as we have the power to damage others by those things we say. Keep Inspiring Sweepy Jean!

    • What you have said is very true, and we do have to be careful how we wield our words.

      With that being said, I take it back. There may be one or two inspiring people out there with a sense of humor. Three, tops. 😉

      Thanks so much for your comments and kind words, Misha. Love ya!

  6. I follow this never having understood why so many people think I’m “sweet” when I figure I’m bitchy most of the time. Laughter be had, it’s my favorite thing!

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