I not long ago got back from a few days “down the shore,” as we say in New Jersey, that is, from one of the many beach towns that hug the coast of the Atlantic in our fair state. I was there with my sister as we both badly needed to recharge our batteries that were run down from living overly busy lives. Being on the beach is my favorite thing to do for recreation.
The weather was the nicest we’ve had in a long time. Almost immediately I gave in to the atmosphere to the point where there was no thought in my head except about whatever was happening in the moment.
I was able to bond with my sister in way we haven’t been able to do for a while. During one of our deep talks, she asked me where did I see myself in five years and what I wanted out of life.
I really appreciated her challenging me in that way as I am already in the process of reevaluating my direction in life. In essence, I said, I want to continue to grow in my poetry and to share it. Any goal other than that, I don’t want to give voice to.
And I realize that this may seem to be avoiding the issue. But as I told her, I don’t want to limit any possibility. I just think that my life so far has been defined to death. The labels of wife, mother, and I don’t know how many other labels have kept me boxed in, and now I’m saying “No more.” Or to put it more accurately, I’ve been saying, “No more” for a long time; now I’m finally in a position where I can talk the talk and walk the walk.
I think I know myself and my values enough that I can be a responsible mature adult and still live life as if I’m on the beach, so to speak, living in the moment, living consciously, manifesting on the outside what I feel inside, and loving every minute of it.
© Sweepy Jean and Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World, 2012