Poetry and personal blog – Spilling my guts to strangers

Ever since I wrote the blog post about how to remember your dreams, I have been remembering mine consistently. Until that point, there had been a very long period where I would fall into a dead sleep and remember nothing in the morning.

Last night, I dreamed that I had overprocessed my hair in an attempt to straighten it.  I had so many chemicals in it, my hair was falling out. I didn’t even notice it at first, I thought everything was ok. But I was playing with my son, who wasa baby in my dream; he had his hand in my hair and came away with clumps of it between his little fingers. When I looked into the mirror, it was not just that one spot but an elaborate pattern of bald spots all over my head.

On a side note, in my dream, as I was playing with my son (somehow there was a tire swing set up at my mother’s apartment), I was extremely concerned about accidentally crashing into the glass doors of my mother’s china cabinet.

Playing the game, trying to keep up appearances, and feeling  not up to par definitely are themes in my life right now on several different fronts. Am I over processing? Am I full of holes? Am I unpretty?

© Sweepy Jean and Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World, 2012

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Comments on: "Dreams of Wanting Acceptance" (30)

  1. One thing Adrienne I would like to tell you is that you are definitely not unpretty. We are who we are and sometimes we might take time to figure things out but if that process is stressing us out then we have to learn to be happy. Learn to smile, learn to let go of the past and move on. Learn to be happy! That is all 🙂

  2. Well, according to some theories dreams are meaningless. They are just the way the brain has to shuffle around, process, delete, and store information. Other theories hold that dreams have SOME meaning but nothing like what was originally thought. Either way, looking at dreams for guidance on how to live our lives is tricky, much like looking at the shifting pattern in the clouds. We will end up seeing what we are looking for. Almost everyone feels insecure and not competent enough about one thing or another at any given time of their lives. You are not alone. Like you say, don’t overprocess, take it easy and don’t be too serious about life. I know, easier said than done, but that’s the goal.

    • Just our own thoughts sorting themselves out, huh? I do think that remembering dreams is probably better than not, that way some of the answers come to the surface instead of remaining subconscious …

  3. I don’t want to believe that dreams have meanings,because the ones I am having off late shake the hell out of me.What I have started to believe instead is that what has been playing on your mind the whole day long,comes back in some kind of a dream.
    All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible.Someone to;d me the other day,Creative people are very insecure people because they don’t know whether people like them or are in awe of them. That insecurity always comes out. It makes them a better person…So think like that..coz u are SPECIAL.

    • Sometimes dreams are like dense poems, Alpana, hard to figure out. As for insecurity, it can make make a person excel because they are always striving for some type of perfection. Thanks for your comment. ❤

  4. I think a dream about losing one’s hair would be quite similar to one about being seen naked – something to do with being embarrassed in public….I read somewhere that it meant a fear of change….perhaps something to do with changes at work? But that’s me trying to analyse your dreams, Adrienne, with my crazy lack of knowledge on the subject !

  5. I learned years ago that over thinking things only caused my feelings of insecurity to increase. Now I have learned to chew on things for a while, whether it is a dream, or real life. After I chew, I digest what I can to help me gain some insight. Then I spit it out and forget it, refusing to worry anymore about that issue. Life is much simpler now and I spend much less time worrying and fretting.

  6. That was a thought provoking dream. I never remember mine. I’ll have to go back and check out that other post.

  7. I’m going to go in reverse order in answering the last three questions you posed –
    “Am I unpretty?” No! You are beautiful! Inside and out!
    “Am I full of holes?” We all have them. Places where we are uncertain or fearful or tentative about taking new steps, new initiatives. For me, that’s where God comes in big time. I pray to Him regarding my shortcomings and trust He will guide me toward the smooth road, not the one littered with pot holes.
    “Am I overprocessing?” You could be . . . dreams can be the way for us to release what our minds are consumed with during our waking hours. Again, our cares may be heavy, but Jesus assures us His burden is light. Give it to the Lord. Let it go . . . and let God.
    Blessings to you!

  8. We dream about what is on our minds, including our insecurities which are often the dominant thing taking up cerebral space. It is fascinating though. Anything to do with the brain is fascinating. I have a lot of nightmarish dreams unless I take a sleeping pill. Then I don’t remember anything, which I’m not sure is good either.

    • I think that whatever function dreams serve has to come to the surface somehow, whether we remember them or not. Lately I’ve had the problem of waking up much too early and not being able to go back to sleep.

  9. I do not think you should worry, you are beautiful! Holes? I am full of holes. And the third: overprocessing, there are times our brains are in overdrive but we do not remember our dreams (might have been the one you were looking for) and at other times we remember these nightmares. Love the way you start worrying about crashing into your mum’s china cabinet (happens to me as well).

  10. You are raising an interesting question: are we overprocessing? I like remembering my dreams but I try to refrain from interpreting them because I don’t think that it helps.
    And yes, you are beautiful! I wouldn’t worry about a thing.

  11. Yes. Maybe. No. That about does it.

    You’re fine, but live in the present.

  12. It’s funny that you are noticing your dreams more. I am too. In fact I just ordered a dream interpretation book to help me decode them. I believe that dreams can uncover a certain truth that we believe about ourselves. It is the unconscious tapes that we run in the depths of our being, it runs right through our core. We can fool ourselves in the daytime but the nighttime tells the real story of what makes us tick. Change the tape, change the dream. Queen Nefertiti says.

  13. Scattered Musings of A Creative Mind said:

    I used to believe ” dreams were wishes your, heart made when you’re fast to sleep” but then it hit me. At what point did I piss my heart off so bad that it’d hand over a hellish nightmare? So disappointingly I had to stop believing in the fairy-tales. Well I am 40 + so I guess it’s high time I grew up? It also dawned on me that when I dream more, it’s like sign that something needs my attention or like you mentioned “I’ve over processed”. I do that a lot I over process, reprocess and then again reprocess. It’s who I am but I am learning to accept the process. At some point you can only over process something before it becomes something entirely different.

    Did you ever stop to wonder about the holes, and what they mean (HA! see processing again :P) Anyways when I start to feel a hole, I turn that hole into something creative. I’ll do a craft, write, sew or even rearrange my desk or books. The hole then fills up, it returns but I’ve learned that the holes are just spaces for me to fill up myself.

    Unpretty? Girl please!!! You are pretty with your own glow. It’s normal I think, to doubt our “prettiness” On days I have my “unpretty” feeling, I’ll wear my favorite outfit, or accessory. It helps.

    Your dream – your hair falling out – it definitely ties in with the “unpretty” statement you made. It shows that you are worried about how others see you . Stop worrying about others and concentrate on how you feel. Maybe it’s a sign that you’re looking for a change? Brush you’re hair in the opposite direction, add some colors to your attire. If the budget allows make a stop at your beauty salon and get a new cut, something a bit different from your norm, but something you’ll still feel comfortable with.

    Dreaming of playing with your child as a baby, hmmm I often have those dreams. I normally wake up missing my children so badly it hurts. The dreams normally happen when one of them hasn’t returned my call, or we haven’t had a good talk in a while. I think the dream is my way of going back and remembering when they needed me. We spend all their childhood, teenage years teaching them to be strong, independent adults, but when they become that adult it hurts us because there is a since of lose.

    The tire swing and glass, a tire swing reminds me of feeling free, feeling like I was flying. Maybe you’re looking for some sort of freedom from a project at work, or someone? The glass of the china cabinet represents a barrier, a wall that keeps others out but they can see in. The fear of breaking the glass to me is a sign you’re ready for the glass wall to come down, but you fear what will happen if you allow it to fall.

    Just my processed thoughts

    Deb
    Scattered Musings of A Creative Mind

    • Girl! You are good! You really have hit on a lot of points that resonate with me. I mean, wow. You and Corinne above mentioned change–a major theme with me right now. Wanting that freedom but having a barrier … I’m coming straight to you with the next dream I need sorted!! ❤

  14. Hi Adriene, Well I have no business trying to interpret your dream, but why should that stop me? 😉

    I see it as a message from your self-conscious that you are stressed by outside forces. You literally were pulling your hair out in your dream, a side of frustration. The chemicals were you trying to conform and please others when that only damaged yourself.

    The tire swing in the china cabinet was your yearning to be free and play but you need to be careful because you’re trapped around things that could break.

    How did I do?

    I hope you get some peaceful rest and have beautiful dreams, Adriene!

  15. Very rarely are there any dreams that could mean something. I tend to dream of stairs when I have uni the next day (there’s a lot of stairs) and I’ve been having nightmares about exams and school lately, but other than that, my dreams are so weird, it’s hard to pick a meaning if any.

    Though dreaming about ponies has led me to believe I’ve been watching too much My Little Pony.

  16. I think we all have moments where we are unpretty and full of holes. I think that is part of what it means to be alive. The living is when we learn how best to fill the holes with things that edify us and make us the people we were born to be! I love how you are keeping track of your dreams and exploring the meanings!

    http://lyricfire.typepad.com/lyric-fire/2012/02/designing-your-destiny-which-interior-design-of-the-mind-style-fits-you.html

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