Poetry and personal blog – Spilling my guts to strangers

NaPoWriMo Poem #8

Five Feet

Five
Feet
Span the
Lonely gap
A glance can’t bridge on
An elevator shared by two.

*****************************

This is an experimental poetry form called a fib. Typically, a  fib has six lines with 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, and 8 syllables, respectively.

(This poem and all poems posted during April 2011 are included in the free ebook, “30 Poems, 30 Days: Inside a Poet’s Mind.”)

© Sweepy Jean and Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World, 2011

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Comments on: "NaPoWriMo Poem #8" (12)

  1. It’s
    Cool
    To Find
    Something new
    Not looking for it
    Exploding onto my radar

  2. Anonymous said:

    like the criss-crossing of dimensions [personal and physical] – also at first read got stumped by the ending ‘on’, but on second read, it felt mot juste, a sense of coming to the end of the bridge with the word ‘on’, and then it seems to drop into the elevator space…nice

    • Thanks so much! I have the most astute readers ever!! I let this sit overnight, and before I published it this morning, I tried to reduce the number of prepositions and replace them with real words. Was able to do that in one instance, but here all I could see to do was change “in” to “on.” I think “on” makes the transition but maintains the personal distance better.

  3. Very cool form! Keep experimenting. I’m loving the variety in your writing. 🙂

  4. Rain
    Gray
    The heart
    Of my world
    Today foreboding
    A post acapolytic time.

    Okay – okay! Don’t laugh. At least I tried. I know it’s terribly depressing but after recently reading a review of The Road, that’s where my mind gravitated:(

    • No, why? It’s no more laughable than mine. I rather like it. I find that each form lends itself to a particular type of expression that reveals itself through practice. Plus, I’m not adverse to depressing. Sound like I need to read The Road! 🙂

  5. I love this one SJ…the form and flow of it…succint and such a picture it paints in such few words…

    and everything in life isn’t always happiness and light…writing should always reflect what we think and feel…this is very honest and valid..
    xo cath

    • Thanks so much, Cath. Your words mean more to me than you know. Even in this day and age, some think there are things better left unsaid, especially for a woman, but I disagree. Not being honest about our feelings kills us, or at least it does in my case. I don’t want to remain silent. ❤

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