Poetry and personal blog – Spilling my guts to strangers

NaPoWriMo Poem #7

what “they” say

Indifference
–they say–
is Love’s opposite

As Such

your smell
causes
my third eye
to Roll Back
in my head
(it watches the daydream)
(of your death at my hands)

The sight of you
fills my Jugular
near to bursting

your absence
Endlessly
reminds me (endlessly)
that i don’t miss you

so would you say
that i am in love

*****************************

For this poem I used the NaPoWriMo prompt:

Write a poem that comments upon or is inspired by a song or other work of art in a different medium. [They suggested three pop songs but I had another song in mind, Tina Turner’s “What’s Love Got to Do With It.” Then, I started channeling my inner Emily Dickinson. After that, things got out of control.]

(This poem and all poems posted during April 2011 are included in the free ebook, “30 Poems, 30 Days: Inside a Poet’s Mind.”)

© Sweepy Jean and Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World, 2011

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Comments on: "NaPoWriMo Poem #7" (30)

  1. Or ready to kill! I’m scared of you now.

    Hehe A

    Loved it

  2. I enjoyed the poem in it’s entirety but the line that keeps echoing in my mind after reading it is “your smell causes my third eye to Roll Back in my head”.
    ~blessings

  3. Alan sent me….I’ll be back

  4. Not that out of control. But that cap on Jugular…gives some pause.

    But that makes it work.

    Regards,
    Doug

  5. Great imagery. A poem to read and reread.

  6. Tina Turner + Emily Dickinson is one explosive cocktail. Hm. (Just had me an idea. File under X for future reference.)

    This is a very violent poem — about aggression turning inwards, and not being able to let go. That’s how I understand it. It appears that the poetic voice is in love with self-abasement, calling up negative feelings to turn them into strength. It pits a defiant individual against a vaguely-defined current of nonsensical, external opinion.

  7. good job with fineness torment God Bless

  8. wow Your not sick your just in love lol made me think of that old song.. Nice work

    http://jpweddingphotograpy.blogspot.com/2011/04/update-on-heron-nests-and-sandhill.html

  9. According to me love is love..so I relate to this one..good one, Sweepy.

  10. Nice one! It may exactly be a song parody, but it is a powerful poem. 🙂

  11. I love this one! Love makes you think and do some crazy things sometimes. Write on girl friend!

  12. LOVE is strange at times!!! 😉 I love this!

  13. Indeed this is love… of the violent or angry kind. I liked this last line. 🙂
    Eliz

  14. No, Sweepy Jean, this doesn’t sound like love to me…more like someone you despise?

    • SPOILER ALERT!

      😉 In my original draft, I included the word “loathing,” then I wrote around it to “show” rather than “tell.”

      I believe that a poem is an “experience” for the reader. My instincts tell me that I shouldn’t try to dictate the experience beyond what was written in the poem. But as a poet blogger does that still hold true? Do visitors to the blog want to know? On the one hand, the poem is set up so that any answer is possible,so there is no wrong answer. But in my mind as I was writing it, my thoughts were more in line with your take on it, Mary!

  15. Very very well done Sweepy! I just adore Dickinson…. My favorite is her poems on Death …

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