Poetry and personal blog – Spilling my guts to strangers

What is Dating and Domestic Violence?
Dating or domestic violence is not a disagreement; it represents a violation of trust.

Violence against women is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44. It encompasses a wide range of acts committed by one partner against another in a relationship. These acts can include breaking objects, hurting pets, yelling, driving to endanger, isolating family members from others, and controlling resources like money, vehicles, credit and time. This can occur in a variety of relationships: co-habitual, dating, married, separated, divorced, heterosexual, or gay/lesbian.

Photographer: exfordy

Control is the goal of domestic violence. The abuser develops a cycle of violence which grows in severity and frequency. It is a learned pattern of behavior whose effects, without intervention, become more destructive over time and can become lethal. The progression of violence is:

Pre-battering violence:
Verbal abuse, hitting objects, throwing objects & making threats.

Beginning Levels:
Slapping, pinching, kicking, and pulling of hair.

Severe levels:
Choking, beating-with objects (sticks, ball bats, etc…), use of weapons, and sexual assault.

One in three women in battering relationships is sexually assaulted. While drinking and drug use do not cause battering, these elements can create a violent situation. When chemical dependency is involved, both the injuries and lethality of abuse may increase.


Frequently, there are signs that dating/domestic violence is happening in a relationship. If you have observed any of the following behaviors in your or a friend’s or family member’s relationship, dating/domestic violence could be happening and you might be able to take action to help.

**LaVonya Reeves speaks from experience. She escaped an abusive marriage and is now making a name for herself in the male-dominated world of online dating (not porn) with her site Reboundlovers.com. But to help those who are broken hearted, she also has a blog that deals with all topics pertaining to dating and relationship issues at http://www.battered-not-broken.blogspot.com/

© Sweepy Jean and Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World, 2011


Comments on: "Abuse is not L-O-V-E (Guest Post by LaVonya Reeves**)" (3)

  1. Thank you so much, LaVonya, for your guest post! This is vital information for all of us, to protect ourselves and important people in our lives who may be affected by such abuse. My hat’s off to you for getting out of an abusive situation and successfully moving on with your life! xox

  2. Fantastic Post, and like Sweepy I applaud you for the strength you show and the wisdom you share ❤ Bless you in all you do!

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