Poetry and personal blog – Spilling my guts to strangers

Like New

When I started this blog I said that this was the “beta” version because I had no idea where this was going. Now I have tacked on the “2.0” to my blog title as if to say “Sweepy Jean on WordPress” is new and improved. But what am I bringing to the table that is new and improved?

Before I began this blog, I realized that I had closed myself off to who I am and who I want to be. Now, by maintaining this blog and channeling my energies into creative writing, I am living a dream that I once thought was impractical and not worth pursuing. By fighting through my fears in this regard, I am so improved. Writing serves so many purposes and for what I want to do, I have to be emotionally available.

To be a writer is to be an entertainer, which in my view is not necessarily in opposition to art and honesty. The entertainers I admire most are the ones whose hearts are evident.

So, what is it like to spill your guts to strangers on the Web? It’s pretty much the same as it is to spill your guts to people you know: Some can handle it; some–not so much. The real question is: Can I handle it?

It’s tempting to say that it is easier to be candid with strangers, but there have been too many times I have posted on this blog only to have family members take turns tending to me as I quiver in fear, in the fetal position, waiting for the world to end. And it never does.

I recently confessed to a coworker that I had a secret blog. She did not press me for details. “That’s ok,” she said. “We all do.”

The new thing for me is an emerging trust in myself that gets stronger every day as I expand my emotional horizons and live to talk about it. I still consider all possibilities but I don’t need to second guess any more. Whatever I am, whatever I decide, I’m ok with that.

Also, it’s ok that I can’t decide on a different background design…

© Sweepy Jean and Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World, 2010.

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Comments on: "Like New" (8)

  1. lisa brandel said:

    Got this notice on my phone (in New Hampshire right now) and was happy to see another post. After I read it I had to smile…I think sweepy you might feel like a worm that got wrapped in a caccoon, and now is being remade. Butterfly? I don’t think it is so mundane, but just as beautiful and three times more rare. Love you, and will be watching and cheering for you always!

  2. Georgina Dollface said:

    Great post. I’ve been thinking much the same thing – how blogging has changed my life, how I get excited about writing and how I can see myself enjoying it for a long, long time. But there are only so many times I can say “Yay blogging, you changed me!” before people think I have no life. It was refreshing to read this and know that I am not alone. – G

    • Fortunately for us like-minded writers, I have no such reservations. Yay, blogging! Writing and blogging is definitely a life, and a great one too if you ask me! Thanks, Georgina!

  3. Hi Sweepy,

    Cool post. It’s great to hear about your journey. It’s amazing how the process can change you. I know that personally, what started out as a way to write without “writing” has opened many doors for me and recharged my batteries in more ways than I can describe, not to mention reminding me of all the wonderful and fascinating people who have similiar goals in mind!

    • It is so true. Another great outcome from blogging is connecting with the writing community. There are a lot of great ideas and energy to fed off. It’s nice to have access to other writer types!

  4. Almost everyone I know, knows about my blog. I decided that once I broke up with my ex (who really hated the idea of spilling my guts online as you put it) that I would be open and honest about it all from the beginning (new beginning) and that anyone who didn’t like it would have to suffer. I wasn’t going to give up on what I wanted again.
    Also, I realised the other day, that someone has to be person who writes the blog that people read and think “Me too, I’m so glad I’m not alone.”

  5. […] this blog, there were no numbers in the title. But when I went through that quiet phase last year, I added “2.0″ to imitate how software developers indicate improvements and upgrades. At that moment, I felt […]

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