That’s how long it’s been since I started blogging. It seems like longer than that. Hmm, is that a good thing or not?!?
Well, for me it’s a good thing. When I started this blog, I wanted to discover things about myself through this new experience as well as to get back in touch with dreams and feelings I had buried for a while. Even in such a short period of time I’ve come a long way.
For me, it’s all about perception. Like, for some people, their job and/or career are front and center in their lives. Being at work is their purpose for getting out of bed in the morning. For others, “job” is a means to an end and their real lives are conducted during the hours when they are not at work. For some, what they do with their lives–cooking, taking care of family, partying, shopping, whatever (plus any drama that ensues as a result)–becomes their life. For me, the ultimate is being intimate with my inner life–my emotions, values, motivation, goals–and to have my inner life reflected in what I do outwardly. Blogging has helped me put my inner life into perspective.
So, a month and a half ago, I would have been profoundly anxious about whether this post would make any sense to anyone–let alone whether anyone would think I was a fool for saying any of this–but yet I pushed forward and published my posts anyway. Every push of the update button on Twitter caused waves of nauseous fear in my stomach, yet I continued to do it. The sky hasn’t fallen yet.
Even though today I still cast a wary glance upward now and then, I love spilling my guts to strangers. When all is said and done, I don’t care if I appear to be foolish or otherwise imperfect, because that’s what I am. (Yes, I mean that the way it’s written.) I’m still learning and always will be, and I’m ok with that.
© Sweepy Jean and Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World, 2010.