Poetry and personal blog – Spilling my guts to strangers

I’m not bashing men. Granted, times have changed, but there simply are some things that are different between men and women, and there is a certain world order that society will accept.

I’m sure that I could probably rattle off a million things, but for brevity’s sake, here are the top 3 things men can get away with that women cannot.

3) Peeing standing up. So this may seem to be a trite and obvious thing to say, but think about all that this difference implies. It’s all about the penis envy, and Freud and I both know that. Besides, I could only really think of 2 things, and to me, 2 is not a list.

Be that as it may, how many times  have you been busy and  had to stop what you were doing to go to the bathroom? With a man it’s zip, rip, flip, and done, but we women have to lift, undo, disrobe. Then, depending on what we have to “do,”  whether we’re menstruating, whether we’re in a public bathroom or not, the experience veers off into another direction. Men can make do without toilet paper; for women, no TP is a nightmare.

2) Being “Tiger Woods.” I’m not talking about the individual, because I could just as easily have said Jack Kennedy, Bill Clinton, Kobe Bryant, Elliott Spitzer, to name a very few. (In this case, I really could go on and on.)  But I’m talking about being a married, high-profile person who is eventually found to be an adulterer. In all of these cases, the public will forgive and life will go on.

We women, we’re never  the primary player. That’s the truth: Women cannot be the stars of their own adulterous sex scandal.

1) Having a Billboard-charting song about the benefits of pregnancy. Why do men think we want to have their babies for no good reason?  My latest concern is the 50 Cent song out now with the chorus, ” Have a baby by me, baby; be a millionaire.” There’s so much that is demeaning in that lyric I won’t even begin to count the ways. (There’s some sexy stuff in there, too. Vivica A. Fox, this cougar is not mad at you.)

But lest you think I am not a fan of rap, let me tell you that is not true. There’s good and bad in everything. Besides, 50 Cent doesn’t have a corner on the market. Some of us oldsters will remember an odious 1975 song by Paul Anka called “Having My Baby.”

So anyway, I’m on vacation from work for a couple of weeks. I’m going to rejoin my husband in front of the firepla … I mean the television, and finish the bottle of red wine we started (thanks for the grab bag gift, coworker).

© Sweepy Jean and Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World, 2009.

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Comments on: "What Men Can Get Away With That Women Can’t" (8)

  1. I loved your blog! To all of this I say that if women want to “get away” with doing those things, then they need to move past the make-believe confines put upon them and LIVE! However you want to. Sure, it may cause quite the scandal in your life for awhile, but that too will subside.

    Take it from a very androgynous male!

  2. I agree that society tries to confine people’s behavior along gender lines. Maybe we should take a closer look at the status quo instead of blindly accepting and worse, continuing the trend.

    Thanks for the kind words and comments, Justice!

  3. Interesting!
    That list can go on and on…There’s no question that men have it easier than women. But, the sad thing is, we as women make it harder on ourselves and each other. We place demands on ourselves and then get mad at men because they don’t stress out the way we do.
    Love your blog!!!

    • I think you hit it on the head. It’s as if we women apply society’s pressures on ourselves even as it is biased against us!

      Thanks for the comments and kind words, Eastcreek!

  4. Good points here. I should mention before commenting that I am a man, so keep that in mind. That being said, I am amazed sometimes at the lack of progress concerning the balance between genders. unfortunately to have any kind of equality, we have to recognize why things aren’t equal in the first place. Of course there are too many factors to cover quickly.

    But the one that always leaves me scratching my head is the roles of “ownership.” Even “modern women” fall into this problem too much of the time. It’s no wonder considering we’re talking about countless generations of social conditioning (and most popular entertainment reinforcing this) But women, whether we admit it or not, are typically viewed as property of their husband, and having a pretty wife is often just a status symbol.

    Hence terms like “trophy wife.” Many people think this way and don’t even know it. The bigger problem is women themselves supporting this behavior. Think about it. The common stereotype of women being attracted to a man’s wallet, more than anything else. Women bragging about the money their husband makes, the house they bought, etc.

    It’s undeniable that men try to impress women with their material possesions, and it does often work. Ask about a guys wife, people will say “She’s pretty.” Ask about a woman’s husband you’ll hear about how makes a living.

    Many women don’t feel complete unless they’re in a relationship, while men view their significant other as an accesory.

    Infidelities are sometimes excused because “he’s a good provider.” It’s not unreasonable to expect your partner to be financially sound (especially these days.) but the concern is definitely skewed in one direction.

    Personally, I think we could solve this by mandating that people (men and women) live all alone until they’re 30 years old. This way they could define themselves as people and bring a complete person to whatever relationships occur. I realize this isn’t possible for many reasons, but hopefully it illustrates what I mean.

    These are of course all generalities, and I appreciate (even hope for) exceptions to them. But I do think this is a serious problem, and we can’t do anything about it unless we look at it. And please take no offense, these are just my thoughts, and I’d love for you to prove me wrong!

    • Ok, Brent, them’s fightin’ words! Lol, just kidding. Surprisingly enough, I actually agree with you, although as you said, we’re talking generalities here. I do think a woman’s worth is often judged by her looks and that a man’s worth is judged by how much he earns.

      For instance, Hillary Clinton is nobody’s trophy wife. She was a fierce supporter of her husband with ideas, ambitions, and intelligence of her own; I doubt that Bill felt as if she were his property. Yet he still cheated, probably due to that immaturity you talked about.

      Even more to to your point, one of the leading criticisms of Hillary is the fact that she does not present herself as a fashion plate or beauty queen, which I hope doesn’t sound as if I don’t think she is beautiful in her own right.

      As for mandating the marrying age, there are some 30 yr olds who are as goofy as 13 yr olds … Maybe if they were required to take a class. 🙂

      I love hearing different perspectives! I’m glad you weighed in on this one, Brent. That was quite brave!

  5. I agree with you and Brent. I also have to add that there is a fine line between we women being empowered women that re-define our gender cookie cutter, and we women emasculating our men, making them feel un-needed at all. Balance, it is all about balance, treating people equally, regardless of gender, race, creed, or anything. Yet, celebrating the things that make us all different. *cue the mission impossible music* Love ya Sweepy!

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