I’m not bashing men. Granted, times have changed, but there simply are some things that are different between men and women, and there is a certain world order that society will accept.
I’m sure that I could probably rattle off a million things, but for brevity’s sake, here are the top 3 things men can get away with that women cannot.
3) Peeing standing up. So this may seem to be a trite and obvious thing to say, but think about all that this difference implies. It’s all about the penis envy, and Freud and I both know that. Besides, I could only really think of 2 things, and to me, 2 is not a list.
Be that as it may, how many times have you been busy and had to stop what you were doing to go to the bathroom? With a man it’s zip, rip, flip, and done, but we women have to lift, undo, disrobe. Then, depending on what we have to “do,” whether we’re menstruating, whether we’re in a public bathroom or not, the experience veers off into another direction. Men can make do without toilet paper; for women, no TP is a nightmare.
2) Being “Tiger Woods.” I’m not talking about the individual, because I could just as easily have said Jack Kennedy, Bill Clinton, Kobe Bryant, Elliott Spitzer, to name a very few. (In this case, I really could go on and on.) But I’m talking about being a married, high-profile person who is eventually found to be an adulterer. In all of these cases, the public will forgive and life will go on.
We women, we’re never the primary player. That’s the truth: Women cannot be the stars of their own adulterous sex scandal.
1) Having a Billboard-charting song about the benefits of pregnancy. Why do men think we want to have their babies for no good reason? My latest concern is the 50 Cent song out now with the chorus, ” Have a baby by me, baby; be a millionaire.” There’s so much that is demeaning in that lyric I won’t even begin to count the ways. (There’s some sexy stuff in there, too. Vivica A. Fox, this cougar is not mad at you.)
But lest you think I am not a fan of rap, let me tell you that is not true. There’s good and bad in everything. Besides, 50 Cent doesn’t have a corner on the market. Some of us oldsters will remember an odious 1975 song by Paul Anka called “Having My Baby.”
So anyway, I’m on vacation from work for a couple of weeks. I’m going to rejoin my husband in front of the firepla … I mean the television, and finish the bottle of red wine we started (thanks for the grab bag gift, coworker).
© Sweepy Jean and Sweepy Jean Explores the (Webby) World, 2009.